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Welcome, Ms. Blogger!

Beginnings are always the most overwhelming part. . .

A few years ago, I dreamed of becoming a blogger and not just a simple blogger but a very good one. The blogger that has many subscribers and who always has something to write about. But due to some limited resources, I wasn't able to pursue that dream. . .until now. Honestly, I am in the middle of writing a paper that I should've submitted yesterday so yes, you're right, it's gonna be a paper full of score deductions firstly because it is already late, obviously, and second, it is not really written that well. I find it funny, actually, that I use the time I have now to write this entry rather than to finish my school requirements. And you know what's funnier? I felt very excited and well-driven when that homework was announced to us in class! I had all the ideas that my brain could ever juice out and they were just floating inside my head! But now? Nothing's left! They are aaaaaall gone! Long gone. WHY ARE BEGINNINGS ALWAYS SO OVERWHELMING?

Well, I think I know the answer to that one (Oh! And maybe you do, too!).

CHANGE. This is something most of the people are always excited about.  Aside from being unpredictable, it gives us a different feeling which is, almost all the time, pleasurable or satisfying or whatever nice adjective we can stick to it.  A new route to take when you're going to school or going home from work, a new class to enroll in whether it's an art or cooking class, or maybe a new relationship to dive into -- all these things bring changes to our system that will make us jump on our feet with toes tingling in excitement.  Everytime something starts in our life, it's like all our adrenaline are being secreted and planning is the nicest thing to do next. One good example is a romantic relationship.  The first few days or months are the sweetest moments of both the couple's lives.  The first dates? Oh, I tell you! Every detail is important, from the major points like the date and the duration down to the littlest ones like a candy wrapper or a piece of paper that is , in one way or another, related to the first dates.  Do beginnings really matter? OF COURSE, THEY DO! But what matters next? Or maybe the real question is "What matters most?".

After a few more dates come the little fights. The manageable will sometimes get a little more bent and then things may (or may not but psssh!) get out of control then hard decisions may follow. Then the couple try to find out what went wrong and how they end up like that, all hurting and broken, distrusting and untrustworthy. What's up next? Everything has a beginning and almost always, that beginning is a great one. But the most important thing is what happens after it and how and when it will end.  Should the couple fight for their relationship or not? Should the couple give each other a chance or not?  Personally, I've let a lot of opportunities pass just because I wasn't able to continuously keep the passion over those things burning or I didn't exert enough effort to conquer hindrances. Also, I've let myself and a lot of other people down countless times already. Now, I am becoming a nice couch potato with dreams and goals just written on a paper (some are typewritten in my laptop).  But then, I realized that no matter how useless I feel at this very moment, I still need to give myself a chance and fight for my life! I HAVE DREAMS! And I won't be able to reach those if I will focus only at the beginnings of everything.  Besides, I think the fun of beginnings can still be felt only if I keep on doing the things I did to get them going with the same amount of enthusiasm and energy (or a little bit higher, I guess).

As I post my first ever (very nonsensical haha!) sharing here, I want to welcome myself, "WELCOME, MS. BLOGGER!". Finally, I am a blogger! *laughs* OH! WAIT! Will I be able to continue this "commitment"? Or will this be like the school requirement I left undone? Is this going to be another one great beginning again and will be untouched and unwanted in the days to come?

Come on and let's figure out together! *wink*

Back to school matters! Til next time! *flying kisses*

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